Behind a patient, there is a carer – June and Brian’s story

June Lockwood’s life changed enormously when her husband Brian had a series of life-threatening medical conditions. She became her husband’s carer, and had to put much of her former life on hold. Adapting to this new life was a challenge for both of them.

The couple, who live in Crofton, had always had an active social life. They enjoyed spending time with friends, and one of their favourite hobbies was rock and roll dancing. Brian worked as a fork truck mechanic; June assigned uniforms and equipment for the police force.

One day in 2020, while on a walk with June, Brian had a heart attack.

“Bang!” Brian said, describing the moment. “Everything changed in an instant.”

Brian recovered enough to return to work, taking an office role that put less physical strain on him. But then, he had another heart attack. This was followed by three strokes, which greatly debilitated the use of his arms and legs, made him unable to speak and caused him to lose most of his memory.

In order to care for him fully, June retired from her career. She found the change to being Brian’s carer difficult. “We stopped seeing people as much, which was hard as we’d always been very sociable. Brian lost his confidence, and we found we were living totally different lives from our friends.

“It made life lonely and we felt isolated. Brian was very dependent on me, so I didn't get any chance to rest or have time to myself.”

Brian was frustrated and depressed about his inability to talk or move as he wanted to, and June also became very down about their situation.

In September 2023, Brian and June began to attend the Hospice Wellbeing service. The couple joined the Craft Group, which had a positive effect in helping Brian with his memory and speech. He also attended the Gym group with our physiotherapist, John, and began to increase his physical strength.

“I’ve always been a fighter,” Brian said, “and I felt determined to make life good again. Coming to the Hospice, everyone was so kind to me. It made me feel wanted and even more determined to improve. I had to learn to talk and walk again, a bit like a baby learning it for the first time.”

June felt the Hospice supported her and her ability to care for Brian. They met new friends at the Wellbeing sessions, and she loved having a social life again. Brian was comfortable being with the Hospice staff without her there, so she was able to regain some of the freedom and independence she had lost.

June connected so well with everyone that she has now become a Wellbeing Volunteer at the Hospice.
 
June said: “You get to chat with other people, so you don’t feel isolated – because being a carer can be very isolating. People tend not to ask how a carer is doing, they just ask about the person you care for.

“But here at the Hospice, they ask me every week how I’m getting on. Being around people and chatting with them really does make me feel like I’m a person again.”

Steph Gillis, Director of Clinical Services at the Prince of Wales Hospice, said: “It is so important that care extends to families and friends of our patients as it can be a challenging time for everyone.

“Giving kindness and support to carers like June is one of our key priorities at the Hospice.”